A Thanksgiving for the People Who Are Just… Tired
Here’s the truth I don’t think enough people admit:
Thanksgiving isn’t “restful” for a lot of us.
Especially if you’ve ever worked in a kitchen, hospitality, service, or anything that demands your entire body for weeks leading up to it.
Most of my adult life, Thanksgiving Day hasn’t been a warm, cozy holiday. It’s been the day I finally stop moving after cooking for everyone else, prepping menus, taking care of guests, surviving chaos, and holding a thousand things together so other people can have their perfect holiday.
By the time the actual day arrives, I’m usually so drained I sleep half of it away.
Not because I’m sad.
Not because I’m ungrateful.
Because my body is shot from weeks of overextending myself.
Last year was different . I wasn’t working, I wasn’t cooking for anyone, and I wasn’t surrounded by the usual holiday noise. I was alone. Not unhappy… just in a strange, quiet place where I was trying to figure out what was next after leaving an incredibly toxic kitchen and losing my apartment to mold. A different kind of exhaustion.
So this year, instead of trying to “force” a perfect holiday, I’m focusing on a few things that actually help; things that make the day softer, calmer, and more doable for people like me who don’t experience Thanksgiving the way Instagram and Facebook tells us we should.
1. Letting the day look however it needs to look
For some people, Thanksgiving is family gatherings and traditions.
For others, it’s a day of recovery.
If your Thanksgiving Day consists of:
sleeping
being quiet
catching up with yourself
stepping away from everyone
not cooking a thing
…it’s okay. There’s no moral award for having the busiest holiday.
I’m letting my day look exactly how it needs to look — nothing forced.
2. Doing small things that genuinely help, not the things I “should” do
Not full routines.
Not productivity.
Not reinvention.
Just useful things:
a shower hotter than it needs to be
comfortable clothes
drinking water before coffee
opening a window for fresh air
grounding food that doesn’t send my blood sugar into chaos
Tiny choices that actually support my nervous system instead of overwhelm it.
3. Making food simple and supportive
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a performance meal.
For some of us, it’s a day of:
something warm
something protein-forward
something that feels grounding
something nostalgic
no guilt spirals
no making five dishes for an audience that isn’t there
If you’re cooking, keep it doable.
If you’re not cooking, that’s perfectly fine too.
4. Keeping the holiday emotionally low-pressure
No forced gratitude speeches.
No “tell everyone what you’re thankful for right now.”
No pretending the whole year was sunshine.
Instead, I’m letting gratitude be quiet and private:
thankful for the people who showed up
thankful for the clarity that came from hard seasons
thankful for the tiny signs of healing
thankful for strength I didn’t realize I had
thankful for the softness I’m learning to allow back into my life
It doesn’t have to be poetic.
It just has to be real.
5. Letting rest count as a holiday plan
If all you do on Thanksgiving is:
sleep
eat
sit in silence
decompress from life
or just take a breath
That counts.
Not every holiday has to be loud, busy, or emotionally elaborate.
Some years, the win is simply making it through and giving your body a break.
A Softer Thanksgiving
Whether you’re working, resting, alone, with people you love, or somewhere in between… Your Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
It’s allowed to be quiet.
It’s allowed to be simple.
It’s allowed to be nothing more than a day where you breathe.
And if this year has been heavy or complicated, let it be at least a little softer on you than the rest of it has been.
